HOW TO MAKE EXTENSIONS WORK: Go read this. (The "alternative text editor" is covered here.)
And that's it. I nearly ended up having to learn how to compile Python to make this work. Now you don't have to waste time like I did. This is a really specific problem; if this post is helpful to someone they should email me. It would be amusing to me if someone who actually needs this information stumbles across it here.
* I like the color scheme I used there.
